Today we had an extension on our family reunion; like the old days, we got together the day after to eat left over food and converse with those we didn't have a chance to the day before. I rode my bike down to the park (a few blocks) to where everyone was gathered. Towards the end of the afternoon, my grandma (left in the picture) and her two sisters walked up to the bathroom. Now this is quite an accomplishment; the bathrooms were a couple of football fields away from where we were located, and two of these women have a difficult time getting around. On their way back, after catching their breath for a while, they began to talk about how good it was to see each other. They grabbed each other's hands, and my Aunt Irene (right in picture) mentioned that this could be the last time they were all holding hands; a sad but painfully true realization. Aunt Irene then said "If I get to Heaven before you two, I will wait at the gate so we can walk in hand-in-hand". That already broke my heart, just to think that it probably was the last time they were going to see each other; my Aunt Irene has been ill, which is why this is the first time in 6 years that she and my Uncle Ike were able to make the drive for the reunion. From that moment on, they were inseparable the rest of the afternoon; they all sat together on a park bench, talking and holding each other. It was one of the most beautiful sites I've ever seen. Then it came time to say our goodbyes. So we all hugged one another, kissed each other's cheeks and said how good it was to see the other person. The time came when my grandma hugged her sister, Irene, goodbye. They began to sob in each other's arms. My Aunt Mary (the third sister) rushed over and wrapped her arms around the both of them. All three held each other and cried, again at the fact that this was probably their last goodbye. My heart ACHED so badly when I saw this..... oh gosh, the air went in my lungs and wouldn't come out. I had to walk away and think of something else to not join in the sobfest. They're all so close and fond of each other; relationships of over 75 years strong. Honestly, one of the most beautiful yet heartbreaking moments I have ever witnessed in my entire life.
And the next...... I've come to the realization that I have to say goodbye to my family tomorrow. I've never been good with goodbyes, but this one's always the toughest: Nate, Heidi & Landunn. They arrived here Thursday afternoon and are leaving tomorrow night (so Landunn can sleep in the car through the night/meat of the drive). It seems like they just got here; such a tease that they leave so soon. For those of you that don't know, Landunn is the love of my life. This kid has more personality than half of the people that I know (ok maybe a quarter ;-) but still....). From the minute I laid eyes on him, I fell in love, and I fell hard. There's nothing that I wouldn't do for this little boy. It took him a while to warm up to everyone, being so young and not seeing us for quite a few months, but he's finally back up to par, hugging and lovin' on us. I am biased, but I think he is the most adorable little boy in the entire world. I hate knowing that he's growing up so quickly, and I haven't been able to be part of his life in the process, with them living so far away. It makes me want to move down to Florida in a heartbeat, but I know that in the process of growing up, we each have to go our own way and do what's best for us. They're only a plane flight away! It won't be that bad, right? I'm not just having a hard time saying goodbye to Landunn, though he's a huge part of it. I'm so close to Heidi.... she has been my closest friend for the past 6 years of my life! She knows everything about me. Everything. And she's the only person I can say that about. She's my very, very best friend, and I am hers, and I am so thankful to call her sister as well. It has torn my world apart being in this town without her; I am so used to just driving over to their house if I am having a bad day, or for dinner, or just for the heck of it. I miss them being so close, that I can go over there (my 2nd home) and just vent or simply be in their presence. It's taken a lot of getting used to to not have her around. This weekend has been so wonderful, to be able to touch her, and talk to her face to face. And to see my brother.... oh Heavens. How wonderful is he? I'm so proud of the husband that he is- how wonderfully he treats Heidi, especially since she is pregnant with his daughter. And what an amazing father he is. AMAZING. He is sooooooo good with Landunn; he is straight up daddy's boy, hands down. He wants to do everything like and with Nate. It blesses my heart so much to think of how much Nate has grown. At one point I wanted to give up on him, to stop praying, thinking that it was foolish of me to ever think he could fall in love with Jesus.... and here he was tonight telling me how important it is for me to find a good church as soon as I get to Springfield. He's become the spiritual leader that every man should be, openly talking about his faith, in a very real, honest way. He's so laid back, and he constantly gives me a reality check. He's like a father(ish) to me too- tonight he and Heidi sat down and helped me create a budget (I AM GROWING UP!!!!!!!!!!!) for my new job. Gosh, I cannot even express how much my heart needed this weekend. I have been waiting for so long to see them again.... and they leave in less than 24 hours.... back 5 states away. It breaks my heart. I am horrible with goodbyes, but I think tomorrow's goodbye is by far the hardest one I've ever had to say. Ever. It was hard when they moved down to FL in February, but I knew when exactly I would see them next. This time, nothing's written in stone. Landunn will probably be inches taller, and his vocabulary trippled.
......when I look at this face, my world feels like it's alright. Like everything is perfect. Love is a wonderful, painful thing.
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