Anthony

Last night I had a dream......... and it was so vivid, it hurt. Ironically it was concerning a family reunion (which I have coming up next weekend; not this weekend but the one after). There was one person I used to look forward to seeing every year. I mean, I would get excited for weeks to come, because I knew I'd get to see him. That person was my cousin, Tony.

I used to be such a dork around him. I didn't have a crush on him (though he was my 3rd cousin, so it wouldn't have been weird in the South), but I thought he was the most amazing person to be around. He always showed so much concern for me, and went out of his way to spend time with me. He was so kind to everyone, and made everyone feel special. He was very supportive during my childhood- we emailed back and forth, and he helped me cope with my parents' constant arguing. He always lifted my spirits and gave nothing but encouragement. No wonder why I looked forward to seeing him so much!

When I was a freshman in high school, he committed suicide. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever been faced with. It took years for me to heal. Praise the Lord for healing! But I still miss him terribly, and as family reunions get closer, I get sadder and sadder thinking about what it'd be like if he was still there.

In my dream last night, he was there......... and I remember the gratitude I felt in my heart to spend one more day with him. I never left his side. We sat on a picnic table bench and just talked the entire time. I don't remember everything we talked about, but I remember it was good.

Even though ambien messes with your body, it gives you vivid dreams, and I am so thankful for that. I'm so thankful that I got to see him again. And I got to hug him. I always wanted to hug him one more time........ and it felt real. It was so wonderful.